Dear advertiser,

I hope that you are interested in my opinion. But, the fact is, that you are not interested in it at all. However, you should be. First of all, let me introduce myself. I am Uroš, and I am not a walking wallet. I have worked very hard to earn some money, and I am more than careful when it comes to spending that money, no matter what I buy, service or a product. I might give you my money, but you have to know few things before you get it.

There are millions of same ads, but I really want to see or hear yours. When I say “I don’t like commercials”, be sure that I am lying. I don’t like boring ads, ads with no content, so called “template-ads”. The truth is that I love ads. Honest ads. I prefer entertaining ads, with simple message. Understandable. You don’t need to insert a photo of me into your ad, but please, just do not put a black man in that ad if you want to target me. I am not a racist, but I live in a white people population (more than 97%). If you want to target me, consider buying a stock photo or video with white people.

I will not think that you care about my needs and me if you throw a bunch of facts into my face. 20 seconds are more than enough for one message that you want me to remember. Do not bomb me with millions of messages in such short time. And I don’t have a memory like an elephant. I remember only important things. But you need to know what is important to me. Therefore, bring me one clear message. Clear one. Understandable. 3 numbers are too much for my brain. And think about this situation: you want me to remember 3 numbers, but I have heard of another 3 numbers during last commercial, and I will hear another 3 numbers after your commercial. Too much. What do I remember? Well, some unexpected things, humor, honesty…

I cannot notice whole portfolio of your company, your blood type, what you had for a dinner, … when I drive. If you want my attention on radio, bring me powerful earcatcher. If you want my attention on a billboard, show me one message with great eye catcher. I have only 7 seconds of attention for your ad. For a billboard, possibly, a little less than that.

The fact is that, I think you don’t care at all about me. You don’t know what I like, my habits, and I don’t think you care about my 5o dollars. Those 50 dollars are so huge for me, and for you…invisible on your bank account. I don’t think that you even care about your product or service you’re offering. Because I don’t see the passion in your ad. I don’t feel your emotion. I want you to consider me as important. And don’t yell at me. I can hear perfectly. Do not talk too fast, talk to me as a friend. Speak my language. I know that you are an expert for your product or service, but I am not. Many of words you use are foreign for me. My language is very poor, and simple. And I am pretty sure that you don’t speak that “professional” language in a pub or a bar when you are with your friends. For example, when I go out for a beer with friends, and we speak about credit costs, I just tell that I pay 150 dollars monthly. I don’t speak about 14,7% of effective interest rate. I don’t have a clue what the hell is effective interest rate.

You still want my money? Tell me why should I give it to you. Why I should not give it to your competitors? Why are you better than your competitors? Why did you create that new product/service? Why do I need it, and what is my benefit of that? Why do I need it at the moment? Why should I visit your restaurant, which is located at the other side of town, when I have almost the same menu in restaurant located in my neighborhood? If you had left me your phone number, do not expect that I will call you 100 times before I hear “hallo” not from Adele, but from an operator. I don’t like to wait on hold. I love to speak with polite people. When I come to your store, I love to see staff with smiles on their faces. If you care about them, they will care about me.

I hope that I didn’t scare you. The scare…it is a miracle! You can scare me, but be very careful! If you scare me more than needed, you will lose me, and I will never come back to you. You know what am I scared of. I am scared that somebody will buy that last piece of your product just before me, or that I will miss the discount. But, please, do not lie to me! Never! I don’t lie to you. I don’t like lies. No. Just don’t lie.

Before I conclude my letter, I want you to know few more things. There is no need to bribe me to write about your product or service. I will be glad to promote it to my friends for no charge. If I am satisfied, I want my friends to be satisfied as well. So, leave it up to me. I will decide when and what to promote. And that is the best ad you can get. Consider me like small but powerful influencer who lives on his own. Remember – a bad word spreads way too much faster than a good one. As I said few lines before, I don’t like lies, so I will not lie to my friends that something is great if it isn’t.

So, what is your message? Tell me. Simple and clear. Do you want something to ask me? I will be very pleased to answer. Feel free to ask me whenever and whatever. Let’s communicate.

And just one more thing. Learn to listen. Teach your sellers/operators/promoters/… to listen. They must be active listeners. Tell them to let me speak. Teach them what to ask. I love to speak. In my words and answers they can hear a lot of things about me. You might hear what do I need. Listen to me actively.

Be honest, I am tough one? No, all the things I’ve told you were simple. And the hardest thing in the world is being simple.



Your spoiled customer